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I've been staying pretty busy on the place lately, and I think it's showing. Of course, one might say that it's hard for it not to show if I do much of anything given the state of things here lately. Some of you might recall a post I made from a few years ago, three actually, about my partner getting pretty bad burnt and the healing process of getting it taken care of. Some of the fall out from that experience was a bout of depression, at least that would be my self diagnosis. My grandpa might have called it a case of the “can't help it's” or something along those lines. At any rate, I can attest that it's hard to pull one's self up by the boot straps despite what others might suggest. The bare necessities were getting done around the place, but mainly out of habit and going through the motions. I knew more needed to be done, but somehow never quite managed to get “a round to it” as I envisioned. Finally, I had sat down one day and made a list of things that needed doing. On the face of it, that sounds like a good thing, but actually all it made me want to do was run away and join the circus. My list was pretty darn overwhelming and would probably have staggered anyone who looked at it and thought “I'm alone to do all this!?” So, my solution, and I think it is helping with the feelings of depression as much as the list, is to have the mind set that I will go out and do something every day, even if it isn't on the list, but do something. Some days, I work on fence, or nail up barn siding, or cut wood, or other things that are on the list. Other days, I go out on the hill side with a bucket and pick rocks to fill pot holes in the farm road. It don't take a lot of thought, but allows a lot of time for thinking and when the days done, I may not have accomplished much, but I have a smoother ride going up the hill to work. One of my big tasks has been a hillside that goes along my road frontage. It's about a half mile long and takes in about 15 or 20 acres. We used to mow it twice a year with scythes. It's fairly steep, but I'm thinking now it ain't as steep as I thought and I should be able to mow it with a team and sickle bar mower. The trouble is, the brush and briers are now too thick. I wouldn't put my mowing machine in it and I doubt you could really drive a pair of mules through it without hanging rawhide from the collars to turn the thorns. It's mostly covered in honey locusts and blackberries that are now over my head. I've had four people say they would come look at it to quote me on bush hogging it but no one has been here yet. So, rather than continue to wait, I mow an acre a day with a weed eater and brush blade. I'm getting an acre to the gallon and I figure that's about as cheap as I could ever get it done. Cutting brush also gives me plenty of time to think, mainly about things like how if I had kept this hill mowed I wouldn't be out here swinging a weed eater right now. Anyway, these are some of the things going on at my place right now. I'm also struggling with the tractor I bought two years ago to help me catch up. I'm thinking real hard about selling it and all the equipment and buying a ground drive pto cart and two more mules, but that's another story. I can say for sure it's a heck of a lot easier to fall in a hole than it is to dig your way back out.

Todd NE WY says 2017-11-14 11:02:46 (CST)



Glad to hear you are hanging in there. I went through a similar bought of depression/lack of get up and go it lasted a good couple of years before I figured out a way to improve. I worked it out about the same as you have, I started picking one task for that evening after work and chores. I made sure I completed at least that one task. Slowly I worked until this summer I was going home from my day job ready to actually make headway around home.

Thank you for your work posting questions and answers.

Todd


9 months ago via Forums | Front Porch Forum

Ralph in N.E.Oh says 2017-11-17 16:23:47 (CST)



Jerry,
I hope this advice that I am about to give, I will follow myself. I am currently recovering from my second knee replacement surgery in less than 5 months. I had to have both knees replaced, they were shot.
Anyway, like you, my chores are being done and all the "have to" stuff is being looked after, but I can see a list of growing projects that will await me. I too am making a list, but as I read your post, I reminded myself of my own advice and that is what I offer you now.
Make a mental list of all of the things that you have completed. You will see that you have done a mountain of things! Take time out and celebrate....it will help you find your way again.
Then, share what you have done with others, not to brag, but to share your experiences and knowledge with them. Helping others will lift your spirits. I can't tell you how to farm your place, but I can say that for me, it's better to hire a few things done. I especially try when the job calls for equipment or expertise that I don't have.
You have a unique set of skills, hone those, share them and click things off your list! Good Luck


8 months ago via Forums | Front Porch Forum

K.C. Fox says 2017-11-19 00:53:07 (CST)



When i parked the truck 3 years ago I was overwhelmed, with what was left undone in the years that I was on the truck spent a bunch of time just stumbling around doing nothing. then I just started doing one or two thing every day, it has amazed me how much that I have got done in the past 1-2 years now it looks like I'm making headway. There are still some days I don't get any thing done Not as many as before. My Dad and Grandad just worked harder when everything was not going right like they thought it should. I guess that I'm doing the same sometimes it is hard to go to sleep as just want to do one more job. Hope this helps someone else Just do it.


8 months ago via Forums | Front Porch Forum

JerryHicks says 2017-11-20 04:54:32 (CST)



Thank you to everyone who responded. It was hard post to write, but like other things I've written about, I think the act of writing itself, helps. Things are getting done around here, and I can see huge amounts of success. The celebrating of those successes, as Ralph said, is hard for me. I can appreciate the wisdom in doing so , though, and will have to try to work on that. I'm also sometimes in awe of folks like my grandpa. My grandparents raised me and I grew up hearing about their own childhood experiences. My great grandmother pulled my grandpa out of school in the third grade and basically hand delivered him to the clay mines at our local brick yard. My grandpa spent, pretty much, the rest of his life in that brick yard. He raised nine kids, two grand kids, and a child from another family member. He put at least two of his siblings through college as well as myself. We worked the brick yard all day and the farm all night and weekends. I remember he and I were cutting brush on a hillside once and I asked him, "Pappaw, didn't you ever want to do anything else?" He said "What do you mean?" I replied, "You spent your entire life working in that brick yard and on these hillsides, didn't you ever want to do anything else or go anywhere else?" He said, "To tell you the truth, I never had time to think about it." That was a sobering response and the more I think about it over the years, sometime I think I take too much time to think about things rather than just get in there and do it. It's a hard balance to strike but that's life. About the time you get it figured out, they're a throwin' dirt in your face!


8 months ago via Forums | Front Porch Forum


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